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Finished up my last game of D&D the other night, at least for a bit. Been playing my first campaign with a few friends over zoom for the last few months. We've mostly just done some sidequests, and of course my incorrigible bard bedded a bar maiden or two.

Usual stuff. Been fun. Felt a little unexpectedly emotional saying goodbye to everyone- probably just because I've always found goodbyes sad.

Still finalizing my packing and such, going through bits of the kit, giving everything one last shakedown as I slowly load my backpack.

As I prepare to turn off my smartphone for three months, going through old texts and such, I'm reminded how disconnected I am, even with a constant data connection.

Going through what I would call my major relationships from the past decade, the ones that lasted longer than 6 months, I took stock of our current statuses. A couple have ghosted me, but I'm mostly good terms with the majority.

But I have a feeling it's mostly out of politeness- they've moved on. Not just with new people, but with caring, really.

You get what you give in this world- I have trouble connecting with people, so why should they care about me?

Yet another thing to meditate on.

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